This snippet from Nia Long at the @americanblackfilmfestival really resonated with me. She mentions taking pieces from people we admire, sitting with ourselves, understanding what we can do, and adding our own sprinkle to the pieces we take from them. She re-emphasized the sitting with ourselves and being intentional about what we do, rather than chasing the new shiny trend of “what you should do if you want ____”. That approach, she warns, can leave us exhausted, confused, and ultimately we won’t get very far moving like that.
I appreciate the clarity and specificity in this snippet. I often find myself drained after spending time on social media because I often go to it to hear someone that I look up to tell me what to do so that I can be sure that I’m on the right path toward my dream. I look to storytellers to share a glimpse of someone’s life—or a fictional story—where the “hero” has some traits that I associate with, and they take XYZ actions and they get the result that I desire. Again, looking for direction. I wonder if it’s draining because after the clip is done, I’ve made no actual progress towards my goal, and if anything, the time I spent on social media means I have less time that day to work on my dreams. I wonder if it’s tied to the despair I feel looking at how much time has gone by that day, and given my expectations (those pesky expectations, lol) how much time has already gone by in my life.
Another reason why these social media treks might be draining is because there are plenty of admirable people who appear to have desirable traits, possessions, and status, who have conflicting views and strategies. I have some people who I follow who say I need to push myself and have more discipline and deal with the discomfort of growth, and they provide a beautiful analogy about trees and roots and I nod at my phone in agreement. Then I’ll see another post about how I need to surrender and let God/the Universe bring my desires to me, and accept and affirm that things can be easy, and striving comes from ego, from a desire to be able to say it was ME who did _____.
In truth, I believe in having a balance of these values and strategies. As I write this I recognize that part of the surrender is being ok with the fact that there is no perfect prescribed way to have this balance. There’s no cruise control setting on when to embrace discomfort, when to rest, when to play.
This post helped me see more clearly that it is worthwhile to stay connected to what I truly believe and not get swept up in what one influencer or another says. I can take their advice, and view it like I’d view a friend or colleague’s advice, and check in with what I personally believe on the given subject or strategy, and when appropriate, mindfully determine if what they say:
- aligns with my beliefs and should be integrated,
- rightfully challenges my beliefs and should be explored,
- should just be ignored for now.
It also reinforces my belief that I should continue to put more energy into defining, refining, and remembering my values, which is something I’ve been working on intently for the past few weeks.
The irony isn’t lost on me that this is also a social media post, but hey, that’s how these things go sometimes.
See ya soon
Leave a Reply